TIL THE SUN COMES OUT.....

im getting sick of all this talk about "love". i love to be loved but... is it even real anymore? think about it. for most of us, it seems that the ones who you want love from the most, gives it to you the least. and when they do give in, most of the time, the love is untrue and impossible to grip. i know we all grow and things don't always stay the same but what in gods name happened to the old fashioned way of making things work? not only am i referring to intimate relationships, im also referring to friendships. is it that damn hard to stay committed? is it that damn hard to be sincere and let someone know whats concrete and whats not?

these are my thoughts.

p.s.

"love may be absent from life for some, but happiness will never be, because only you can truly make yourself happy"

REP YOUR STANCE!

i claim a stance in non violence and peace

"i am not a fighter but i will defend myself at all times"

i claim a stance in love and happiness

"i adore being happy and making others happy"

i claim a stance education and awareness

"intelligence is pure excellence, ignorance is unacceptable"

i claim a stance trust and honesty

"friendship is honest and true"

SHE MADE ME THINK...

is life measured by the people we love?

or by our accomplishments?

what if we fail?

and what if we are never truly loved?

what then?

will we ever measure up?

xoxo

GOSSIP GIRL

LET'S TALK

if "love" is a powerful word,

how powerful is "like"?

smh...

it's pretty fucking powerful.

careful how you use it.

anywho...

i had a fair weekend.

minus Saturday night.

[not so fun]

no more drinking. for a long time.

"your good deeds erases you bad deeds"

even if your good deeds are for yourself.

today marks 36 days.

im not counting on purpose..

i just remember dates well

=)

"intelligence is pure excellence"

FORGIVE & FORGOT

i forgive that you forgot to remember me

THE PLANS.

so

i have an interview at the Library of Congress tomorrow

i have to pretend to be sick at work today

so i can have a good excuse as to why i will be late tomorrow

do i look sick enough....?

on a different subject

that asshole asked me for money for Friday

i told her no because she needs to learn how to save her money

and do you know what she did?

she stole it from me

i noticed money missing from my lil piggy bank joint this morning

bills, not change

how did i respond you ask?

no i didn't rip up any of her shit

or pour bleach on it like i normally would [yes it gets that serious]

but...

well, let's just say

i'm the ONLY person who has the key to that lock on our door

goog day.

REACH FOR IT.

"have you ever touched happiness?"

LIONS & TIGERS & BEARS...

OH MY!

this song is something serious.

by Jazmine Sullivan

read the lyrics....

I'm not scared of lions and tigers and bears, oh my

But I'm scared of loving you

I'm not scared to perform at a sold out affair, that's right

But I'm scared of loving you

Am I the only one who thinks an impossible task?

Why it don't last? Is that too much to ask?

Why do we love Love, when Love seems to hate us?

Sorry if I sound so filled with gloom

You say you care and I know you do

But this is from my experience

And my conclusion only makes sense

Just cause I love u and u love me,

It doesn't mean that that we're meant to be,

I can climb mountains, swim cross the seas,

But the most frightening thing is you & me!

Most circumstances I know my fate

But in this love thing I don't get the game

Why does it feel like those who give in,

They only wind up losing a friend?

Just cause I love u and u love me,

It doesn't mean that that we'll ever be,

Fly cross the ocean, sing for the Queen,

But the most frightening thing is you & me!

I'm not sure no, I'm not sure

But if we never try we'll never know

It's better to have loved than not to love at all

But trying is worst than to stumble and fall

And if what we do? I'd rather it be with you

Cause at least there will be Sweet memories

SO LONG...

goodbye summer

[taken & edited bye me ]

EVENTFUL...

DRIVEN..

My desire is to succeed...

thoughts of future engagements weigh heavily on my mind

day and night.

it's a tad bit hard to sleep.

i am so inspired so I must focus.

no room for stress right now and certianly no room for games.

i am driven by words spoken.

so i must work hard and get things accompolished.

................

by the way

have you noticed the sky lately...

[taken with my cell phone. lol]

PRODIGIOUS!

I am currently in the process of planning my first event.

I am so excited.

Things have been going stupendous for me lately.

no drama, no tears, no failures

jeeez.

prayer works.

as much as im loving this path to happiness..

i find myself missing a few things.

like....

those early morning text messages

random?

i know. but i really do miss those. lol

BYE

P.S.

Why do things have to be so inelegant between people when someones intentions towards them have been misconstrued? Is it really that serious to loose ALL contact?

My mind ponders.

BARBIE BIBIANA'S ART SHOW...

BARBIES SHOW WAS FANTASTIC & HER WORK...MAGNIFICENT!

THE RICH GIRLS

THE RICH GIRLS & BARBIE BIBIANA

THE RICH GIRLS & KENNY BURNS

THE RICH GIRLS, REBECCA [DESIGNER], & RAHIEM DAVAUGHN

THE RICH GIRLS, BARBIE BIBIANA, MARTY MAR, & MAJOR [GOADOMETALK]

THE RICH GIRLS, WANTHY, & JAIME AQUINO [1ST IMPRESSIONS PHOTOGRAPHY]

THE RICH GIRLS, MARTY MAR, & MAJOR[GOADOMETALK]

A ROSE IS STILL A ROSE

life.

it's like a dream to me. but only, i can't wake up from it when things go wrong. so as often as i can, i try my best to do or say something that will inch me closer to a better tomorrow. closer to a happier self. i work hard to fortify myself with contentment. it gets rough. but i can do it. i have done it. there is more to life than increasing it's speed. so im going to take my time. i refuse to force myself to be something im not. or even someone im not. i remind myself from time to time that every artist was first an amateur and that the best way out... is all the way through.

"one way to get the most out of life is to look upon it as an adventure"

-William Feather

pictures from the beach...

bad girls

ASK YOURSELF...

ARE YOU LIVING OR ARE YOU EXISTING ?

THINKING.

Falsifier.

She’s the prevaricator.

She lies. A lot. For no reason. And about major things like life, death, and money. As if lie is her first language. I know she lies. I can smell it. I can fucking see the lies rolling off her sodden tongue. It bothers me. Because I love her dearly as a friend. sooner or later, she’s going to lie about the wrong thing or person. And I’m going to have to literally slap some precise truth into her fucking heart.

Underrated.

I think he’s superb.

No doubt. one of the coolest. one of the smoothest. ever. Has a great sense of humor too. My heart was once fully devoted to him as his was to me. Things are different now. we’re strictly friends. Nothing more. Nothing less. Have been for a while now. My apologies. I’m sometimes an asshole towards him. It’s wrong. But it’s all love. And he knows it.

Mute.

She’s completely perplexed.

I hope she remembers. Family comes first when everything goes to the left. We’re cousins. but like sisters. Sort of. She’s becoming distant. Because of her life issues and choices. She needs to realize that we’ve all been there before. She needs to speak up. Put her foot down. I’m here to support her no matter what. I postulate she knows this already.

Egocentric.

He is the self-absorbed guy.

He thought only of himself at all times. What we had could never be again. It’s wasn’t a confirmed relationship. But it was close enough. he fucked everything up. Yes. I fully blame him. The circumstances of “us” was bad enough. He made it worse by acting like a child. Luckily, I had fortified myself with the thought of a good life. Now he’s prevailing from rejection. By me.

Affluent.

This little lady is phenomenal.

Indeed. And very opinionated. At first it miffed me but now I can relate. I understand her. She’s on her way to being miss independent. A good confidant. Together, we will “pop the fuck off” on anybody who tries to get in our way. RG!

Admirer.

I call him her fancier.

He speaks with veraciousness. and he’s fine as fuck. I know it won’t. but. I anticipate a favorable event will happen between he and I one day. Better than what already happened. I like his ego. More than anything. I barely know him. But I do. This is what I’m giving up on. it’s hard looking for that end of the rainbow. I’ll end it with that.

Brotherly.

A necessity to my life.

Through thick and thin she has been here for me. She’s my lady. pause. Need I not say more.

Reserved.

I see this boy as borderline naïve.

He makes it seem as if he knows and has nothing. As if he can’t have it all. i think he can. he has most of it already. I wish he believed. I wish he had the confidence in himself that I have in him. He has the potential. To be that guy. Not mines. But someone else’s. I love him lots and wish him the best of luck. BYE.

LMFAO!

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Aries Spears on Def Jam

SO...

I GIVE UP.

9.11

police. FBI. terriosts. citizens. us. murder. fire. bazookas. k9s. suspicion. blood. death. trade center. news. questions. unanswered questions. all those unanswered questions. planes. don't. blink. hate. crime. suicide. death. scare. life. bush. bombs. towers. war. jeez. war. funerals. family. friends. loneliness. tears. nerves. lost ones. rememberance. remembering. remember. 9/11. INCREASE THE PEACE.

STOP THE WAR! when will it all end. R.I.P. lost ones

READ ME.

I am not a writer, but I can write. As I take my daily journey through the many blogs on the internet, I notice that we all have one thing in common... talent. I browse. And I see singers, poets, dancers, models, rappers, cooks, photographers, and fashion designers. But lately, the one talent that has been making feel all bubbly inside is writing. lol. No, I don't want to be a writer as I age, I just love to express myself.. i love to write and I love to hear what others have to say as well. So... i write, read, and listen. Think about how amazing it is that we all have the unintentional ability to write a single sentence that would later have a major impact on thousands of lives. Yes, it's possible... becuase anything is possible.

"I have a dream"

That one day, everyone will listen. Sometimes i find it a tad bit easier for me to write my thoughts and feelings down. Why you ask? Well because I can take my time writing whereas talking about it, i feel rushed... like get to the point already NaeNae! lol. And mainly because I can erase something i wrote whereas talking, i can't take back what's already been said. But over the past few years... i have learned that easier isn't always better. So i TRY to talk about shit to that person instead of in a letter, facebook status, or blog post. lol... unless i just don't give a fuck. Bye!

CHILL PILL.

GRRRRRRRRRRRR!! I am so sick of people acting like I don't have feelings. I am a happy person majority of the time but that does not mean I will tolerate you disrespecting me you fucking pricks. I say "pricks" with a S at the end because this is not directed towards one person. I know it's not all about me and my feelings but jeeez.. have mercy on my heart. I hurt too. 10...9...8...7...6... Sometimes, I look at all the numbers in my phone and ask myself, "will she keep in touch with me if I stopped calling her?"...."would he text me just to say 'hello' if I didn't text him?" It's saddening because I don't know the answer to those questions. But I have a clue.

5...4....3....2...1... On a happier note, this weekend was sweeshie. Friday night was a blockbuster night with the girls and the guys. Clubbing with Sandra, Young Berg, and Ray J! VIP! Haha... I didn't even like them before Saturday. Sheesh! What a night. The to end the weeknd right, I went shopping! Got some nice shit too... still waiting on that jacket hun! lol I need that joint asap! Bad as shit.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Oh yeah, I lied to myself and a few others. lol. it wasn't intentionally. The truth is, I DO still have that crush. He is fucking amazing in every aspect. BYE.

GLOW.

so the sunlight reflects through this window... so i take a picture. he was sitting yet still giving me a standing ovation..

THIS SHIT HERE.

Last night

I went to this poetry night thingy

at Mocca Hutt Cafe on U Street

with JoJo & Mika..

it was amazing.

[and free by the way]

everyone that made noise was great!

i plan to go back next Thursday.

if anyone wants to join me...

[8pm-11pm]

This morning

I made a pb&j sandwich for breakfast

it was sooo good.

Oh!

speaking of this morning...

guess where I am right now..

IN COURT!!!!!

yes, I have been here at the DC Superior Court

since 11:30 am.

it's pretty fucking boring.

....wonderful experience though.

one of the new legal interns let me use her laptop.

if i was a bad girl, i'd steal his joint.

BYE

REALITY.

sometimes

YOU

win

&

sometimes

YOU

lose

THOUGHTS.

it's 11:36 pm on the dot. im sitting here on the computer.. when I should be on my way to bed. BUT i don't want to go to bed right now. LEDISI

is her name. she's on my mind.

fell in love with her voice & music last year

yesterday, i stumbled upon her CD.

she's really tight. [pause] listen for yourself. but don't shoot me if you disagree.

the song entitled, "Soulsinger Live" GEEEEEEZ!

that joint is crucial!

on another note...

IT'S DAY 3

of making those major changes.

im proud of myself.

you should be proud of me too.

hoooraaaay!

lol

lastly...

im confused about something.

not that it matters to me anymore..

i must admit

i still would like to know.

ARE THEY???

hm. i wonder.

oh well, even if they aare...

best of luck to them...

&

better luck to me next time!

bye.

p.s.

i love music

POLAROID.

So someone take her picture

(click, click)

so i dont forget her

(click, click)

i wish i had a polaroid

(click, click)

so i could remember

(click, click)

-SHWAYZE

LIVE.

I wish I could fly. I always say that and people laugh, but little do they know... I do. When I have troubles, I would fly. When life is throwing more shit at me than I can handle, I would fly. When everything that looks all fine and dandy on the outside isn't so fine and dandy on the inside, I would fly.

Just Imagine.

Imagine flying around at night or early in the morning when not too many people are out. Imagine taking a step outside your house and lifting yourself off the ground. Imagine the wind flowing through your hair and giving you chills throughout your body. Imagine. Imagine how quickly all your worries can turn into old memories as you head towards the moon. Imagine that. Imagine flying around in a space that can't be invaded by negativity. Imagine how you will feel when you come back down.

Sheesh.

At night, I dream of flying away... but not for long. Just for a little while. You should come too. I trust you will enjoy. lol

all I can do is

imagine.